But God, I don’t want to forgive them!

I know they hurt you. I know they treated you unfairly. I know they caused you deep pain and emotional turmoil that no one else saw, and that you cannot use words to explain. I know they didn’t show up for you when you thought they would. I know you trusted them and you thought they would never let you down. I know. I know they don’t deserve to be forgiven, and I know that everyone else is telling you that you have a right to be angry with them.

But I want to offer a different response. I want to challenge you – that even though you have a “right” to be angry with them, it doesn’t mean you should be. Nor does being angry towards that person who hurt you make you feel better in any way. Actually, it hurts you more than it hurts them.

I know that is hard to hear. I know forgiveness isn’t easy, and I know even the idea of forgiving this person who hurt you can even sometimes cause physical pain in your body just thinking about it. Because what they did wasn’t fair, and they hurt you in such a deep place in your heart. Because WHY should I forgive them when I have a right to be angry? WHY should I let go of a grudge towards them or the bitterness in my heart I am carrying?

We forgive others not because it is easy, but because of Jesus’ forgiveness towards us. We forgive others because He first forgave us, because He sacrificed Himself on a cross so that WE could experience eternal life with our Savior.

I know forgiveness is not easy. I know it’s hard. I know it’s painful. I KNOW that your pain sometimes feels unbearable. But I can promise you this: speaking from my own personal experience, when you forgive others, YOU experience freedom. YOU experience a peace and joy you would’ve never even thought possible. We forgive others to show them the love of Christ and because our sins have ALREADY been forgiven by Him. I know we have a right to be angry, but when we think about it, didn’t Jesus have a right to be angry with us? To hold our sins against us forever? To never give us a second chance, or to stop giving us a second chance after so many times of messing up? Haven’t we also hurt people, that of which we desparetly want them to forgive us for? Haven’t we ever said something that hurt someone we love, and wished we could take back what we said so despartely? Haven’t we ever sinned or done wrong to those we love the most?

I know I have. I have so many times, and I am so thankful for the people in my life who have forgiven me for all of the ways that I have caused hurt to them. I am so thankful for the people who continue to believe in me and speak truth into me even after I have done or said something that was hurtful to them. I am so thankful for the people in my life who see past my mistakes and choose to overlook them. I am so thankful for the people who know my flaws, who know my shortcomings, who I have perhaps even said some hurtful things to in the past, who choose to love me and forgive me anyway.

I would not be who I am today without the love of Christ, and the love of so many close friends and family who embody that same love inside of them. I am so thankful that Jesus has and continues to forgive me of my sins; so even though it is hard to forgive others when they do me wrong, when I put it in this perspective, it reminds me that I am no better than the person who hurt me. I am no more righteous, I am no more worthy of the forgiveness of Christ than they are. We have ALL sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), and we ALL need the forgiveness of Christ.

So, how do we forgive those who have hurt us?

We pray for them. We pray for them every day, and ask the Holy Spirit to work inside their hearts in in their lives to provide for their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. We pray for the well-being of their body, their mind, and their spirit. We pray for them to flourish in all areas of their lives, and most importantly, we pray every day for God to give us the strength to forgive them for the ways that they have hurt us.

I pray that you all take courage to experience the freedom and the joy that comes with forgiving others. I pray that you see that it is not even for the other person as much as it is for YOUR peace of mind and heart. And I pray, more than anything, that God humbles your heart and reminds you that we have ALL sinned and we ALL need the forgiveness of God, and if He first showed us forgiveness, then we can be empowered by the Holy Spirit to show that same forgiveness to others.

Romans 3:23-24: …for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,…(NKJV).

Ephesians 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (NIV)

Colossians 3:13: Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (NLT)

Luke 6:37: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven”, (NET).

Mark 11:25: But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. (NKJV)

Proverbs 17:9: Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (NIV)

Matthew 18:21:22: Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!”, (NLT).

Colossians 3:13-14: He delivered us from the power of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (NET)