Sometimes we are afraid to love. Sometimes love intimidates us. Sometimes, we don’t want to love people because they don’t love us in return. Some of us may be in love, some of us may dream of falling in love some day, and some of us be scared out of our minds to fall in love because of the heartbreak it could potentially cause us.
Loving people is hard. Allowing yourself to feel the feelings of falling in love with someone is hard. Being heartbroken is hard. Losing someone you love, that’s really, really hard. Being vulnerable with people you know and trusting them to still love you after seeing you in such a deeply and sometimes troubled emotional place, that’s hard too.
We could avoid a lot of heartache if we never loved anyone. We would never have to put any trust in other people or fear that someone else may disappoint us or let us down. We could live independently of feelings, connection, and deep intimacy.
But the thing is, our God who created us instilled within us as human beings a desire to be in relationship with and to connect to others, which comes with the capacity to love and to feel loved. God designed our very nature with the need to be in community with and to be seen by others, to be loved by them, and with the emotional capacity to show that same love to others. The very first thing that God EVER said was “not good” was when Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:18). We were created to be in relationship with others, even if that sometimes causes us hurt and very, very deep pain.
So my challenge to you, friends, is this:
Love without limits. Love without fear. Allow yourself to fall in love even though there will always be a risk of getting your heart broken. Trust that God will always be with you and take care of you, but that He instilled within you the capacity to love for a reason. Do not choose to love only those who show love to you in return, but love those who criticize you, mistreat you, and even those who might gossip about you behind your back. Give your friends a chance to love you by being vulnerable with them and giving them that opportunity to show you how much they care for you. And even if they do not respond in love or possibly say something unintentionally hurtful in response, just know that you took a risk to foster a deep connection and that a risk like that is never, EVER for nothing.
Know that love will always require risk and will often cause us hurt and deep emotional pain. We grieve the pain of death of those we deeply love and care for. We face heartbreak when someone we are romantically involved with completely blindsights us by ending the relationship out of the blue. We can feel embarrassed when we share something personal with someone and they don’t respond in a way that communicates care and love. Love can lead to some of the most awful and painful feelings that we will ever experience, but that never means that our God-given capacity to love isn’t worth those risks and those really, really painful feelings.
Love is worth it because it not only connects us to the people we love and care for, but it connects us to God our Father whose very nature is love. We love because God first loved us, not because of love that is reciprocated to us from each person we show love to. We love because God showed the epitome of the deepest possible love for humanity when He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for all of our sins so that we could have eternal live in heaven with Him.
We choose to love, we fall in love, and we take the risk of being vulnerable with others because God designed us as human beings to be hard-wired for connection and intimate relationships. We also choose to love because God first loved us, and because loving others isn’t about what we get in return, but it is about what we give. When we love others, we are emulating the type of person we wish to be – imitating the love of Christ who died for us through the love we show our romantic partner, our spouse, our family, and our closest friends. And let’s not forget, you also imitate and show that love of Christ (maybe even in a deeper and more vulnerable way) when you love those who mistreat you, who criticize you, and even those who show hatred towards you. The love you show is never, ever, EVER, for nothing.
Genesis 2:18: “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”, (NIV).
Matthew 5:43-45: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy’. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”, (NIV).
John 3:16: “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life”, (NLT).
1 John 4:18-19: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us”, (NRSV).
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